When You Get Angry

Be Angry and Do Not Sin.

A common misconception among many in the church is that anger is sin. We put on our happy faces, we smile, and we pretend that nothing ever gets on our nerves, no one gets under our skin, and no one ever drives us out of our minds. On the one hand, the Bible is very clear, we need to be patient and long-suffering, and endure with one another (Colossians 3). Without a doubt, we must be kind and considerate and respectful. But sometimes, well, to be blunt, sometimes we just get hacked off. Our patience runs out, our long-suffering comes to a crashing halt and our anger rises quicker than the ocean tide at a full moon.

And if we’re really being honest with ourselves, sometimes our anger isn’t just aimed towards other people. When life crashes in on us there are times when we tend to shake our fists towards heaven with anger in our hearts. The Bible is full of examples of God’s people getting angry at Him.

• Jonah was greatly displeased and became furious. [at the Lord] (Jonah 4:1)
• I will say to God, “Do not declare me guilty! Let me know why you prosecute me.” (Job 10:2)
• The disciples were once on a boat in the storm.  Jesus was asleep in the stern of the boat.  Listen to the anger in the disciples’ words as they woke him up for help: “Teacher! Don’t you care that we’re going to die!” (Mark 4:38)

What do we do when we feel the temperature rising in our souls? Is it possible to be angry and still maintain godliness? This article answers two questions: How do we hand our anger towards others in a godly way? How do we handle our anger towards the Lord?

ANGER TOWARDS OTHERS

You’ve been in the situation before. You feel your heart begin to race, your palms begin to sweat, and your temperature begin to rise. You can’t see your face, but you’re certain its color is red. You are angry, furious even. One of the Old Testament words for fury or wrath literally means “red-faced.” You’ve been there, haven’t you? When you feel your blood starting to boil? Next time you get “red-faced” follow these three steps to make sure you handle your anger in a godly way:

1. Slow Your Mind Down: When you get angry, Satan gets in. He sees an opening, a weakness, and he dives in to exploit it, ruin relationships, bring regret and cause you to sin. Ephesians 4:26 says, Be angry and do not sin. There are two implications to that single verse. First, it’s not sin to be angry. Second, it’s easy to let your anger cause you to sin.
   
   When you feel yourself getting angry and your temperature starting to rise, you should see a big yellow caution light flashing in your mind telling you to slow down because you are approaching the dangerous intersection where anger crosses sin. As you slow down, you’ll want to examine your motive. Ask yourself the following questions:
   
   • Why am I angry? This is the big one. ‘Why’ determines everything else. Are you angry because your pride has been hurt? Are you angry because you see an injustice? Are you angry because you’ve been hurt? Always ask “why” first. And be honest with yourself.
     
   • With Whom Am I Angry? Once you figure out the why, then you can figure out who. This one can be tricky. We often blame the wrong people for the wrong things. Figure out who you are angry with, and be sure your anger is aimed in the right direction.
     
2. Slow Your Words Down: You now have a grip on your mind, you know why you’re angry and with whom you are angry. Now you must slow down your words. Guard them with the precision of a laser beam. If you aren’t sure if the word is the right word, opt for no word at all. You must find a way to express your emotion, but you must also find a way to express it in a way that is healthy. A bottle of soda that is all shook up is going to explode if it’s opened at the wrong time. But if it you give it a minute, all the fizz will settle down. The same is true for us. If we open our mouths when we are all shook up, we’re going to explode. That’s not good for anybody. Keep your mouth shut for a minute or a day or even a week if you have to. Let the fizz settle down. But always open the bottle. Find a way to express yourself in a healthy way. Choose your words carefully and wisely.
   
3. Speed Your Forgiveness Up: The worst thing you can do is go home and fester over something that has you angry. If you are angry with someone you need to do either one of two things ASAP.
   
   1. Set a meeting: Get together with that person as soon as possible to work out your differences.
   2. Give them the benefit of the doubt: If the situation that has you angry could have another explanation, give them the benefit of the doubt, at least until you’re able to talk with them. Don’t carry around anger or bitterness in your heart. It’s better for you and for your relationship if you extend the benefit of the doubt for now and talk with them later (Just be sure the bottle isn’t all shook up when you talk).

When you feel yourself getting angry and your temperature starting to rise, you should see a big yellow caution light flashing in your mind telling you to slow down because you are approaching the dangerous intersection where anger crosses sin. 

Anger Towards the Lord

We may not like to admit it, but anger with God is a part of life. It’s also a part of the Bible. Jonah was angry with God. Job was angry with God. The disciples were angry with Jesus for sleeping during the storm. You’ve been angry at God, too. We all have. That promotion didn’t happen. That relationship failed. That family member passed away. We find ourselves trying to pick up the pieces in our lives, looking up to heaven with a broken heart an honest question and on occasion, a lot of anger. We say to God: “You could have prevented this. Why didn’t you?” So, how do we handle our anger with God?

1. Be honest with God. One of the biggest blessings about the Bible is that it wasn’t written by super saints. If you read through the lives of biblical characters, you walk away with the realization that God really does choose the foolish to shame the wise (1 Cor. 1:27). The men and women in the Bible were, by all outward observances, normal people. Let that sink in, normal person. They were just like you and me. Which means, when those normal people’s lives fell apart, they did what you and I do. They shook their fists towards heaven and asked why. God has broad shoulders. He can handle your why question. Be honest with him.
   
2. Put the blame where it belongs: Do you remember when you were a kid and your mom told you to go to sleep or you would be tired the next day…but you refused to listen. You stayed up late watching TV, eating cookies, and ignoring the wise advice of dear old momma. Then morning came, and sweet momma came to wake you up. Like a bear being disturbed from her slumber, you growled and snarled, “Leave me alone mom! I want to sleep!” You were angry at mom, but it wasn’t her fault. She was the one who told you to go to bed in the first place.
   
   It’s like that with God too. Far too often we get angry with God for things that sin caused. It isn’t His fault that death, disease, and destruction plague our lives and our planet, it’s our fault. True, he could have stopped your relative from dying, given you that promotion or stopped that disaster. But he didn’t. I’ll grant you that. That thought might be the cause of your anger, and if it is remember this: He could have stopped the death of his Son on the cross… But He didn’t stop that either. And the result of the death of Jesus on the cross? Life eternal for the one who repents and believes. It’s precisely because God didn’t intervene and stop the death of his only begotten Son that death, disease, and destruction cannot have the final say in the life of the believer. We can, along with the Apostle Paul, confidently declare, “Where o’ death is your victory, where o’ death is your sting?” (1 Cor. 15:55). We are heaven bound because God didn’t stop the death of His Son on the cross.
   
   Remember this, Satan is the one who tempted us to sin, not God. We are the ones who sinned, not God. If you’re going to be angry, be angry at the one who tempted you (Satan) and the one who failed (you). Not the one who warned you. God is the one who said, “If you do this, I’m telling you, bad things are going to happen.” And, like the child staying up too late at night, we have the audacity to blame the very one who warned us. Our pain isn’t His fault. He provided a way out from our pain by sending his Son Jesus to take on the most unimaginable pain possible, death on the cross to pay for the sins of the world.
   
   So, when we get angry at God (and we will) be sure to put the blame where it belongs.
   
3. Be ready to hear an answer. Even though we know we need to put the blame where it belongs, we know God will still get the bulk of the blame, at least initially. Job shook his fist at God and God was patient with him, very patient. Extremely patient. 38 chapters patient. But eventually, God’s patience came to an end and he said to Job, “Who is this who obscures my counsel with ignorant words? Get ready to answer me like a man; when I question you, you will inform me.” (Job 38:2). That may seem harsh, but remember, God had been extremely patient with Job. And then, it was time to put an end to the fist shaking.

He could have stopped the death of his Son on the cross… But He didn’t stop that either. And the result of the death of Jesus on the cross? Life eternal for the Christian.

Anger is an emotion given to us by God. In a sin-fallen world, you will find yourself angry. Jesus Himself walked into the temple, the place that was supposed to be a place of worship, and He saw how man had perverted worship and the temple by turning it into a marketplace, selling high dollar animals for sacrifice. And in a display of godly anger, Jesus “overturned the tables of money changers and the chairs of those selling doves and would not permit anyone to carry goods through the temple. He was teaching them, “is it not written my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations? But you have made it a den of thieves!” (Mark 11:15-17). In John 2, the Bible describes Him as driving out the money changers with whips. This was Jesus, the one who never sinned, thus proving that it is possible to be angry and not sin.

Believer in Christ, let me remind you oh so gently, that you are not Jesus. While it is certainly possible to be angry and not sin it is VERY difficult to be angry and not sin. Anger is a challenging emotion to navigate. Our motives get all twisted, our words come out of our mouths faster than our brains can stop them. That causes our regrets to rise quicker than the temperature in Missouri on a hot day in August. If you find yourself angry with others, slow down your mind, slow down your words and speed up your forgiveness. If you find yourself angry at God, be honest with Him, put the blame where it belongs and be ready to hear an answer.

To God be the Glory, great things He has done.
To God be the Glory, great things He will do.