My (not so) Social Media Experiment

I remember sitting in our apartment on the Seminary campus when my wife was telling me about this thing called “Facebook.”  She was really excited about it, the idea that she could connect to her High School and College classmates on her computer was a revolutionary thought.  I was less than intrigued.  In fact, there wasn’t any way possible to subtract the amount of caring I had about it…it was at zero. I could not have cared any less about the thing called Facebook.  I already had the iconic “MySpace” page, but I thought that was equally stupid.  Why did I want to go to someone’s “MySpace” page to hear what song they put on their page when I could just go to Pandora and listen to any song I wanted?  

That was 2007.  Back then the idea of “social media” taking over the world and dominating our lives was a foreign thought.  Computers were useful tools where we could find information.  Laptops were the portable machines that we carried in our backpacks, but they required internet connection.  And even then, the connections were often slow and buggy.  And again, when we were connected, we were often seeking information, not seeking being redirected by algorithms and dopamine, at least not to the degree that we find it happening in 2022.  In 2008 I remember buying a blackberry cell phone.  It had the capability to connect to the internet.  It also had the capability to send and receive email.  All of that is was great, but the biggest perk for me was that it had a digital calendar.  I could put all of my appointments, assignments, and to-do lists into the blackberry and get a ping in my pocket every time something was due. In 2009 I upgraded to the iPhone 3.  I still remember very clearly the first time I said this phrase…I was sitting across from someone who wanted to schedule a longer meeting with me.  I pulled out my iphone and said, “Let me check my digital brain….”  I only remember that because the phrase struck us both as odd, and we both laughed for several minutes at how goofy it sounded.

13 years later, it doesn’t sound goofy at all.  My iPhone 13 isn’t just my digital brain, it’s now my camera, calendar, music, TV, GPS, bank, fitness app, book reader, note-taker, reminder app, how I shop, my wallet, how I check mail (both email and physcial), how I listen to the radio, how I book travel, and yes, my social media (oh, and how could I forget…it’s also what I use to call people on the phone).

The smartphone has forever changed our world.  And a large part of why the smartphone has forever changed the world is the social media apps installed on them.  Last week I read an intriguing and thought provoking book by Cal Newport (Digital Minimalism).  In it, he lists several reasons for why we should consider becoming a minimalist with our digital media, specifically social media.  I read the book in 2 settings.  Less than 4 hours.  It was a page turner, precisely because it was hitting me right where I needed to be hit.  After I finished the book I began to observe my own behaviors with social media.  How was I behaving with Social Media? What was I sacrificing to be on Social Media? What advantage did Social Media give me?  What did I feel when I resisted the urge to check Social Media?

What Is My (Not So) Social Media Experiment?

When I asked all these questions, one observation became very clear:  I need to change my behavior with social media.  And I need to change my behavior ASAP.   So, for the next thirty days, I’ll be running an experiment. For starters, I’ll be reframing “social media” in my mind and “information media.” In other words, I’ll only be using social media to publish information.  Some information is published automatically (Twitter and LinkedIn, for example publish blogs without ever having to log in).  Facebook requires a login and a manual post.  During my experiment, I’ll login, post the information (blog, informative post, etc) and then immediately log out.  I won’t be checking any comments.  I won’t be checking anyone’s status updates.  It will be strictly to share information.  I will not check twitter, LinkedIn or Instagram. I’m removing the “social” from social media and replacing it with “information”.   The purpose here is to perform a type of “social media detox.”  I can control the input, controlling what I post. But there is no option to view “only information” on social media. This means I just have to cut out all casual scrolling on social media networks. That means I won’t know what’s happening in your life (though I’m convinced I’ll still find out). During the experiment I’ll be checking to see if productivity, mood, sleep and family time increases.  I’ll also be examining if energy and focus increase.  At the end of thirty days, I’ll make a decision…do I stick with “informational media” or do I return to “Social media”?   That’s what I’m doing…here’s why I’m doing it, in two categories. Personal and moral.

Personal Reasons for My (Not So) Social Media Experiment

• Social Media is a time killer

Last week alone, my screen time app on my phone shows I spent entirely WAY too much time on social media.   I shudder to think how much time I waste in a year scrolling through the various social media apps looking at what people had for dinner.  And I cringe thinking how much time I waste in a week being frustrated as I read comments from people I’ll never meet.  When I get home late at night after a long day, could I have been home sooner if I wasn’t a slave to social media?  If my screen time app is right, the answer is yes.  Social media is a time killer.  And I’m tired of killing time. (PS-Wasting time is one of my top three pet peeves in life. So this was an easy one for me to latch on to).

• Social Media is a productivity killer

Not only is social media a time killer, but it is also a productivity killer.  If I am working on a project, and then take my mind off the project and begin scrolling through Instagram, suddenly my mind is off the project and on the ‘Gram.  Sometimes that’s a welcomed break.  But the problem is leaving the social media app behind and getting back to the project. Once the dopamine kicks in, I find myself scrolling through the pictures hitting the heart button, then responding to comments.  Thirty minutes (or three hours) later, I go back to my project, and completely forget where I left off.  Social media kills my productivity. And I HATE that.

• Social Media a relationship killer

How many times have I been sitting right next to my wife and we’re both scrolling on Facebook?  We should be talking to each other, but instead we’re leaving a comment on somebody’s post about little league baseball in Seattle, Washington.  We choose to write digital words to strangers instead of speaking audible words to each other.  That’s ok in the short term, but it’s not healthy in the long run.   Social media is a relationship killer.

Moral Reasonsfor My (Not So) Social Media Experiment

• Social Media is killing our image.

Open your TikTok, Snap Chat or Instagram app and suddenly you have a million different “filters” to choose from.  You can eliminate every flaw from your face and every scar from your body just by applying a filter.  Boom! Suddenly, you’re perfect.  Except you’re not, and you never will be this side of heaven.  But we put images of ourselves on social media that would make even the world’s most famous super model look like Swamp Thing.  We get all kinds of likes and comments and thumbs up.  People say things like “beautiful” “stuning” “hot!.”   And then we go to the mirror…and the face we see looking back at us isn’t the same face we saw looking back at us on the phone.  Which causes problems…big problems…especially in young impressionable teenage girls..problems like…

• It is killing people (literally)

The rise in teenage suicide is directly linked to the rise in social media usage and smartphones.  This isn’t new information, its just been hidden, at least from me.  Here’s a study from 2012 sounding the alarm about the rise of depression and its link to social media. Here’s a more recent study, published by BYU research offering more evidence that girls in particular are at a higher risk for suicide when they overuse social media. The reasons for this are obvious. We become addicted to likes and comments (this is a biological response, related to dopamine in our brains). And when people are fawning over our beautiful and flawlessly filtered photos, we put more fake filtered photos on social media. We learn what people like (the dopamine helps filter this for us). And before long, our social media feeds are filled with fake pictures and fake stories of fake people just like us who are living fake lives. Then we close our phones and go back to our painful, tear-producing lives evidenced by the real scars that filters can’t remove. There’s just no filter that can take real life pain away. And so, many people compare their scars and pain to their perfection they see on social media and they do the unimaginable. They take the pain away the only way they know how, by taking their own lives.

• It is killing relationships (literally)

How many relationships have been lost over a heated political or religious debate on social media? How many people have been unfriended over a comment about the recent Roe v. Wade decision? Have you ever seen a post that says, “Go ahead and unfriend me if you believe….” Social media is literally destroying relationships.

For all its negative, social media does offer some good qualities. We are able to stay connected and get information out to others quickly. We can see old friends and their families. We can even send messages to groups. Social media is fantastic for information. But when I consider both categories of reasons together, personal and moral, it really brings the question of value into proper focus for me. Practically speaking, social media kills my time, productivity and takes away quality time with my family. Morally speaking, it destroys the image of young women, increases the suicide rates of teenagers and destroys relationships with family and friends. When I put the good and bad of social media on the scales, I’m no longer convinced that the good outweighs the bad. I’m willing to enter this thirty day journey with an open mind. At the end of thirty days I might redefine my relationship with social media by using it only during specific time periods throughout the day (a fifteen minute period in the evening, for example). I might continue to use it as “Informational media” and not “social media.” Or, maybe at the end of thirty days I may discover that social media offers little to no value at all and cast every app in my virtual trashcan. Time will tell. I’ll keep you updated (by blog of course, since I won’t be posting socially on social media). 😉