If you’re a parent raising children in today’s culture, you MUST learn how to help your kids navigate through difficult cultural issues. The question we have is HOW do we do this in a day where disagreement about cultural matters often leads to rejection, humiliation, and loss of friends (This is “Cancel Culture”—disagree, and get “canceled”)
One difficult subject that our children are facing is in the area of sexuality and gender. Our culture is in the middle of a massive and modern cultural shift regarding sexuality and gender. So how do we discuss these issues with our children? And how do we help them formulate an opinion that honors the Lord and is founded in Scripture? Below are four steps for speaking to our children about difficult subjects. For specificity, I’ve centered on the issue of sexuality and gender. While not intended to be exhaustive, it will help you be better informed and equipped to provide your children with the necessary knowledge to honor the Lord in our current “cancel culture” climate.
Know What the Bible Says
As a follower of Jesus, we should always start with His Word, the Bible. The modern sexual revolution is highly emotional, but it isn’t a difficult issue. The Lord has spoken both explicitly and implicitly about the subject of sexuality and gender in the Bible. So always begin with the Bible. And where the Bible is clear, we must also be clear. Many resources are available to you, which I will link to at the bottom of the page. Spend time studying and learning what the Bible says about the issue.
Know What the Culture Says
Once you know what the Bible says, know you study the culture. What are the arguments the culture is using to persuade the masses? A quick Google search will help you discover these. For example, phrases like “Love is Love,” “Gay Rights,” and “Trans Rights” are common slogans used by the culture.
“Love is Love” approaches the subject from a logical point of view. At the foundation of this argument is the idea that all love, regardless of the love, is the same. But very few, if any, would accept the validity of this statement when equally applied. For example, our culture still shuns bestiality and pedophiles. Everyone draws the line somewhere on the spectrum of what is acceptable. Thus “Love is Love” logically contradicts every person’s individual beliefs.
“Gay Rights” and “Trans Rights” approaches the subject from a fairness point of view. This argument’s foundation is the idea that the LGBT community is denied certain rights. However, this, too, is inconsistent. In our society, the same rights apply across the board. Gay marriage is legal, and discrimination against the LGBT community is illegal, so rights aren’t the issue. The exception might be around trans rights and sports, with the culture currently debating whether men who have transitioned to women should be allowed to participate in women’s sports. It seems ironic that this issue is essentially one-sided. There appears to be no debate or discussion about whether women who have transitioned to men should be allowed to participate in sports. Instead, the argument primarily focuses on men who have transitioned to women competing in women’s sports. The question then to consider is, “Why is this?” And the answer is quite simple: It’s a matter of fairness. A biological male is naturally bigger and stronger than a biological female. And when we put it all together, we see that Trans Rights advocates argue for fairness while seeking to unfairly impact female athletics with a physical advantage.
What is more, the LGBTQIA+ segments within the movement are largely incompatible with each other. The LGB community broadly describes the problem as “I was born this way, accept me as I am,” while the T community broadly describes the problem as “I was born the wrong way, accept me while I change.” At the core of the issue is the subject of acceptance. Everyone longs to be accepted and valued. How do we help our kids value the person without accepting their position? How do we talk to our kids about issues like this in a way that honors Christ and respects humanity? The final two steps help with this question.
Know How to Speak to Your Children “Where they Are”
A toddler does not need to know that electricity consists of the flow of electrons between atoms. That level of information is irrelevant and will not help the toddler. All the toddler needs to know is this: “Don’t touch the outlet” As the toddler grows into a young boy, the instruction grows from “Don’t touch the outlet” to “Don’t put a fork in the outlet.” And as the young boy grows into a young man, he can finally study the science behind electricity by examining protons, neutrons, and electrons.
The same is true with your children. Don’t overwhelm them with logic or information they cannot understand. Keep it as simple as possible and help your children to:
- Define why God cares about the issue.
- Define why we care that God cares about the issue.
- Reason and think through difficult subjects using logic.
- Examine what they believe and why (Ask them what their friends believe).
- Discover what God says about the issue using the Bible.
- Encourage them to spend some time discovering what God says through Bible Study
- Set a time for your next talk within a week.
Know How to Communicate
When speaking to your children, be sure that you communicate with understanding, patience and logic. Avoid emotional debates. Modeling this for your child will show them how to communicate with others. Furthermore, our goal is NOT to win an argument with our children. And it isn’t our children’s goal to win an argument with their friends. The goal is to discover why God cares about the issue and why we care that God cares. Then discover what He has said about the issue and finally stand firm on HIS thoughts. Our goal is to know what Jesus says, then communicate what Jesus says and help others see the same.
The modern sexual revolution is not leaving. It will always be an issue that lives among us. Unfortunately, politicians have discovered that this is an issue that they can manipulate to seize power and control. The media floods our screens with emotionally charged issues surrounding the LGBTQIA+ community. But we are not a people that allows DC politicians and Hollywood actors to define our beliefs. The Lord, He is our Lord. He tells us what is good, right, and just. And He alone can determine morality. There is a God…and we aren’t Him.
Resources:
Parenting: 14 Gospel That Can Radically Change Your Family–Paul David Tripp
Shepherding a Child’s Heart–Ted Tripp
Raising Kingdom Kids–Tony Evans
God and the Transgender Debate: What Does the Bible Actually Say about Gender Identity?: Andrew T. Walker
Affirming God’s Image: Addressing the Transgender Question with Science and Scripture: J.Alan Branch
A Talking Points Book: Transgender. Vaughn Roberts
Fault Lines: The Social Justice Movement and Evangelicalism’s Looming Catastrophe-Voddie Baucham
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