Every person is a leader to some degree. You are a leader of your family, a leader of your small group, a leader of your friends, a leader at work, a leader in your community. If you aren’t a leader *yet* you soon will be. And If you are a leader, you have to be a learner. Leadership means learning and it means always learning. You are constantly learning how to lead, in what direction to lead, how to best motivate, how to handle conflict, how to manage expectations. This blog is not exhaustive, these are not written in any particular order of importance, nor are they even the top three lessons for leaders. These are important lessons for leaders, lessons leaders need to learn and take to heart and they are probably lessons that leaders have to learn, re-learn and re-learn again. Three simple lessons for leaders: You can’t separate love and leadership; Leaders aren’t always liked (and sometimes they are hated); Be willing to hear criticism.
1. You can’t separate love and leadership.
If you don’t love the people you are leading, you aren’t leading them. Leaders who don’t love their people aren’t leaders, they are managers. They manage people, manage situations and manage to get by. Management is necessary in certain situations, but make no mistake, management and leadership are two different things. People work for a manager, but they follow a leader. People do a job for a manager, but they labor for a leader. People will do the minimum for a manager, but they will go above and beyond for a leader. Why? Because they realize that a leader loves them. A leader goes above and beyond for them. A leader sets the tone. You cannot separate love and leadership. In fact, love is what drives leadership. Without love, you have a manager. But with love, you have a leader. Give a manager a checklist and a crew and you can get a checklist completed. Combine a leader and a people with a mutual love for one another and watch them change the world. Perhaps that’s why Jesus called pastors to be shepherds who care for the flock. And then Jesus gave shepherds and the flock a command: “Go and make disciples.” Shepherds (leaders) are called to love their “flock” (the church.) When God’s shepherd loves God’s people and follows God’s command (Go and make disciples)…Well, you just watch them can change the world. Leadership without love isn’t leadership and won’t accomplish anything of great value. But leadership motivated by love…that’s world changing!
2. Leaders aren’t always liked (and sometimes they are hated).
I know, it sounds paradoxical to follow point number one (You can’t separate love and leadership) with point number two (did somebody say “hated?”), but no matter how much you love the people you lead, you will be hated when you lead. Expect it. It will come. Leadership is divisive by its very nature. Jesus was the greatest leader to ever walk the earth and he was hated. Pick any leader in the Bible and you’ll likely discover that they were hated by someone. Leadership brings with it a hatred of the leader. If you are going to be a leader you will have to find a way to grow thick skin without it becoming calloused. Only the Holy Spirit can do that. And He will, if you will allow Him too. It comes with wisdom, maturity and time.
3. Be Willing to Hear Criticism
Always be willing to hear criticism about substance, even if it’s coming from an unfriendly place. Criticism about substance should set of sounds of joy in your mind because those provide instant points of application which can help you improve. To do this, you have to separate emotion (what you feel) from logic (what is said). Hear the words without feeling the emotion. When you can train your mind to do this, you instantly get tips on how to improve your craft. Make no mistake, it’s hard to separate emotion from what is being said. But it can be done, if you make it a point to hear words and train your mind to dial down emotions in the moment. Try to set your emotional defense mechanisms to neutral and use criticism for your advantage. Take critiques on substance and hear them, and use them to improve. Equally true is the following statement: Reject criticism that is personal, vindictive or about your character. Just chalk those criticisms up as insults, remember that as a leader you’ll be hated (or at minimum insulted and criticized) and move on. If someone says “you’re the worst _________” just thank them for their time and move on with your day. Your security is found in Christ, not in someone else’s thoughts on you.
Being a leader means you have a thousand people who can do what you do better than you. Monday morning offices are filled with forty year old dad’s complaining about how Andy Reid lost the Chiefs game by not calling the play they would have called..if only they had been coach, the Chiefs would have won. Every four (or eight years) approximately 50% of the country instantly becomes a better President than the one we have in office. Joe Buck is the worst sports announcer in the history of sports announcing. Every non-parent is a professional parent. Every parent is a better teacher than the one leading the classroom. Every parent on the stand is a better umpire than the one on the field. And of course, everyone could do a better job than you. That’s the nature of leadership. And here’s the rub..you do the same things to others. We all do. Human nature is just prone to criticize those in leadership, it’s just kind of our thing. Well, let me rephrase, it’s just kind of…my thing…
Until next time,
A 41 year old dad who is 100% positive the Chiefs would been Super Bowl champions last year if I were Head Coach…
Brian